Town Biz 101 - Humor Column - July 2011 Edition
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Humor & Funnies

WHOSE BETTER - A POLITICAN OR A CLOWN


Provided By: Rellis Smith
Posted: 10-27-11

Back in the olden days, about 1960, a very funny man and mental genius made this statement, "I remain one thing and one thing only, that is a clown, that places me on a much higher plane than any politician."

That man was Charlie Chaplin.

PARAPROSDOKIAN SENTENCE


Provided By: Rellis Smith
Posted: 07/08/11

A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect...(all of these are true but some hold more truth than others.)*

  • Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  • Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
  • If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
  • We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
  • Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
  • The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
  • I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.
  • The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!
Relllis Smith
rellis39@sbcglobal.net





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